One of the main reasons that I wanted to be married is that
I wanted to be a mother. When Bob and I found out that I was expecting the
first time, we were both extremely happy. We were like most young couples:
young and nearly penniless and in school, but very happy.
Ultrasounds were fairly new and were not given routinely,
and so I never had an ultrasound while I was expecting Cathy. I have heard of
many parents who despair that something may go wrong, or that their child will
be born with something wrong, especially with their first pregnancy. I never had any of these concerns. I was just
happy to know that I would have my own little baby, whether it was a boy or a
girl.
During labor and delivery, Cathy was posterior and was not
dropping very fast. Ultimately, they needed to use forceps to help extract
her. Since it was after 1 a.m., and
since I hadn’t slept much the night before, I was really tired. They worked on
her quickly, but I didn’t get to hold and cuddle her, because they hurried her
off to I.C.U. The doctor only told me that her legs seemed a little short, but
he seemed bright and happy, and I felt fine about everything.
It wasn’t until much later that I found out that Cathy
needed to be in I.C.U. because she had swallowed meconium stool. (It wasn’t
related to her dwarfism, but everyone seemed so concerned about that, so no one
let us know any differently. The obstetrician left the hospital for vacation,
and the communication to us as parents was nil until I spoke to him much
later.)
Bob went with those who took Cathy to the nursery. When he
returned, he just looked like a happy, ecstatic father. When I asked if her
legs were too short, he just smiled and said “No.” (In reflection, I am certain
that Bob knew there was something skeletally wrong with his daughter, because
he had studied sciences; but, to both of us, Cathy was perfect.)
During the night, multiple hospital personnel and medical
specialists visited my hospital room. I was tired and wanted to sleep. The
pediatrician that we had took it upon himself to call genetic specialists
without our knowledge or consent. (I am glad that we did have insurance.) The
pediatrician told us quite bluntly that Cathy had a condition called pseudo-diastrophic
dwarfism. Whereas, the geneticists were not quick to diagnose, and waited to
give her dysplasia a name until after they had shared the x-rays and
photographs at three different conventions. The name they attached her
condition is diastrophic dysplasia. (We were told that it was a recessive
disorder, meaning that Bob and I have a common gene, and that with every
pregnancy, there would be a 1:4 chance of having a child with a similar
condition. At that time, the gene had not been pinpointed. Since then, it has.)
The pediatrician also told us that we wouldn’t know until later if Cathy were
retarded or not. We did not like the arrogant manner of this young doctor and
changed pediatricians as soon as possible.
We took Cathy to the pediatrician that I had when I was
growing up. He also saw us while she was still in the hospital and he was there
for his own patients. He asked why Cathy was in Continuing Care. When I said
her limbs were a little short, he said, “Oh, like me.” He was a man that was
about 5’6”. It is much better to deal with positive people.
While in the hospital, the floor psychologist also came to
speak to me. I thought that what she had to say was really weird. She said that
she was sure that I was wondering, “Why did this happen to me? Why didn’t I
have a perfect baby?” No, I never really did wonder that. But I did think to
myself, “What is your problem? Cathy is a perfect baby. What do babies do? They
eat, they wet, they sleep, they cry. Yes, she is a perfect baby. She may have
some problems in the future, but we will wait and see and deal with them then.”
I also remember wondering if she had scoliosis. She did not as a baby, and
inwardly I knew that was a good thing.
The psychologist also asked strange questions about my
family. My mother did not visit Cathy in the ICU nursery, because she had had
some dental work done, or an abscess or something, and she did not want to take
infection into that environment of tiny babies. But it was clear that the
psychologist was concerned that Cathy wouldn’t be accepted by her grandmother.
Nothing could have been further from the truth.
I know that my husband’s and my faith in Jesus Christ and
the Plan of Happiness has had a lot to do with our attitude is facing any of
life’s challenges. We have never regretted having Cathy as part of our family,
and we have truly been blessed by all the many gifts and talents that she
brought into our home. I really never have wondered “why me,” but sometimes I
have wondered “why her?” I don’t really know why we have the individual challenges
we have in this life (other than that we live in an imperfect world), but I
know that Cathy has always been super intelligent and coordinated and blessed
beyond her years. She is an old, wise soul who has taught all of us very much,
and she has navigated life well. I don’t believe that she has ever really
thought she is so different than anybody else.
We took Cathy home from the hospital when she was three days
old. She had a healthy, happy childhood. She smiled quickly, talked quickly,
and learned quickly. I remember when I talked to my sister soon after Cathy was
born. I said that I just didn’t want other children making fun of her when she
went to school. My sister told me that all moms worry about that with their
children, and I have found that to be true. We all have differences, but the
things that we have in common always outnumber the differences.
I think that because I was young, I felt that if I fed Cathy
well, she could catch up some. Every parent wants the best for their children. I
have always had faith that she can be healed, but I know that it will happen in
the Lord’s timing. I know that will be an exciting day.
Cathy started communicated in short sentences and recited nursery rhymes between 12 and 18 months. She was an early talker and singer and
problem solver, that’s for sure. One of the saddest memories I have is after Cathy’s
brother John was born. Soon Cathy realized that John’s fingers worked normally,
while some of her finger-joints didn’t bend. One day when we were all in the
car, Bob and I heard Cathy say loudly in frustration, “Fingers, bend!” She was
22 or 23 months at the time.
Cathy never really crawled, probably because her arms were
short. But, I have never seen a child that could roll across a floor faster
than Cathy could. If she wanted a toy, she would find out how to get it. Then
she learned to sit on her bottom and shuffle herself quickly across the floor
while she was sitting. She began walking at about 14 ½ months and mastered that
within a month.
Even though Cathy has never had full dexterity in her
fingers according to the norm, she has always found a way to be good at things.
She could tie her shoes when she was younger than any other of our other
children. She could pump herself on a swing at 4-years-old as well. Her hand-eye
coordination is phenomenal, so it is best not to challenge her at computer
games. She is also a great pianist.
Cathy had surgery on her right hand just before she turned
four. That was a challenging experience for all of us. I don’t believe that the
doctor ever described what post-surgery would be like. As a young parent, it
was difficult to have to wrap Cathy’s fingers down with Coban, hoping that the
joints would become more dexterous and not fuse stiff; but Cathy’s fingers
hadn’t healed and it was very painful for her, so she fought having it done. It
was very sad, and I didn’t handle it well. It is hard to see a child lose faith
that the world is a kind place where you can always trust your parents and
other adults when she is only four-years-old. But we did get past that.
The surgery made her right hand be positioned differently,
and I think that it was a help as far as aiding Cathy with writing and such
things. But it did not make her joint-spaces all work normally. And we found
that she compensated equally well with her left hand and opted to not have
surgery done on that hand.
Cathy did have occupational therapy through Easter Seals for
a year or so. More than anything, she enjoyed the interaction with another
adult. It was almost like pre-school. I know the therapists enjoyed Cathy, too,
because she was so intelligent.
At the end of first grade, Cathy’s one knee turned in
greatly, and her lower leg turned outwards. Her orthopedist was planning on
performing a surgery. As her parent, I really didn’t feel like this was right
for Cathy at this time. We exercised faith and prayers and asked for Cathy to
receive a special priesthood blessing from a leader in our Church. The surgery
became unnecessary, and the orthopedist told us that Cathy was breaking the
rules. We all knew it was a gift from God at that time.
Cathy fell off the top of a ladder to a slide while at
school in third grade. She broke her collar bone. Because she was already a patient at an
orthopedist clinic right by our home, we took her there. These are normal
childhood accidents that can happen to anyone, and Cathy healed from that quite
well.
The other surgery that Cathy had was to prevent her
scoliosis from getting worse. When she was five or six, Cathy started
developing scoliosis. She wore orthopedic braces to help her grow as straight
as possible. The doctor said that he should not do the surgery until at least a
year after she started menstruating, so that Cathy could reach her full
potential height. So at age 13, she had surgery.
The orthopedist tried first to put a rod in Cathy’s spine, but she immediately lost mobility. So he rapidly took that out, so that there would not be permanent damage. Then he took some bone from her hip to fuse different areas of her spine to hold it from further curvature. (She later had a surgery to revise the scar between her shoulder blades, but it widened again, due to its location.)
I could write about all of Cathy’s wonderful accomplishments,
but that would take a long time. And I don’t think it’s necessary for this
book. So I will just list the major ones, so that people will know that having
a small stature does not limit one’s possibilities for success.
Cathy graduated as Valedictorian in her 2000 class. She received straight A’s all through middle school and high school. She received a full-tuition scholarship to Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah; plus, she received several lesser scholarships. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from BYU, majoring in German teaching, and minoring in Russian. She then served a full-time 1 ½ mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Family History department. She is currently working full-time for the church and is also taking classes part-time to finish her master’s degree in Library Science. She is an independent young lady. In fact, she has helped family and friends financially when they've needed help.
Cathy graduated as Valedictorian in her 2000 class. She received straight A’s all through middle school and high school. She received a full-tuition scholarship to Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah; plus, she received several lesser scholarships. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from BYU, majoring in German teaching, and minoring in Russian. She then served a full-time 1 ½ mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Family History department. She is currently working full-time for the church and is also taking classes part-time to finish her master’s degree in Library Science. She is an independent young lady. In fact, she has helped family and friends financially when they've needed help.
Cathy had a brother who was also born with diastrophic
dysplasia. He did not live long past birth because he also had a condition
called Potter’s Syndrome. We know that he returned to his Heavenly Father, but
Cathy especially missed getting to know her brother. One day she will, as will
the rest of our family.
Cathy also had a brother who had a leg-length discrepancy.
It looked like he was developing scoliosis; when, in fact, during his
pre-puberty and puberty years, it became quite apparent that his right leg was
longer than his left. (He also has an underdeveloped rib.) He had surgery to
slow the growth of the longer leg, so the shorter could catch up. Now instead
of having a 1 ½ inch discrepancy, there is only ½ inch. (The reason I bring
this up, is that the genes that contribute to diastrophic dysplasia have to do
with growth plates as well. I haven’t had anyone confirm that his condition
could also be an outcome of the same genes or not, but I find it interesting. )
There truly is no pure gene pool in the world today, but we
have found that there are many unseen disorders and problems that are far more debilitating
than dwarfism. Cathy has brilliantly learned to compensate to make her life’s
journey both successful and joyful.
(A post concerning Cathy's youngest brother Robby: http://heidisommerfeldstevenson.blogspot.com/2010/02/happy-birthday-robby.html)
(A post concerning Cathy's youngest brother Robby: http://heidisommerfeldstevenson.blogspot.com/2010/02/happy-birthday-robby.html)
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