A Change of Heart is a Good Start
We had a therapist come and talk to our Relief Society sisters last Thursday evening. It was a good question and answer session; but, as with most valuable information, there wasn’t enough time to really address individual needs or to reach the one. Also, as with anything of lasting value, many lessons have to be learned personally. I have found that Jesus is the best Teacher and the One most gifted to reach the one.
This is not to say that study of behavior will not help us. Certainly, it will. We must be sure that what we are learning is in harmony with the gospel: Jesus’s teaching, the scriptures, and the prophets. As we equip ourselves with knowledge, it is important for us to put principles into practice in our lives, which will help us feel more whole and empower us to live better lives. I’m thankful for the time Brother Goodson spent with us, and I was impressed to see him offering personal counsel to some after the meeting ended, of his own freewill and off the clock.
While many topics were discussed, I am only going to comment on one today. How can we change our behavior in the moment? Let me explain. A sister was concerned about her personal reactions to her children when they misbehave. She feels like her reactions are not really choices, but just flared responses. How many times have we all felt like that?
Well, the gentlemen talked about Jesus’s extreme gift of self-control. Certainly, He always responded with love. Even in the times when He showed anger, He still had perfect control. Did the man’s response help the sister know what to do? Well, we all understand that we must pattern our lives after the Savior, but sometimes that seems easier said than done.
Someone brought up the scene of Jesus clearing the courtyard of the temple from the buyers and the sellers. No one should suggest that Jesus wasn’t angry, because He clearly was. While there are critics who may say that He acted rashly, we must remember that He took the time to actually construct a cord with which to drive away the wrongful activity. Plus, and this is important, Jesus as the High Priest of the Universe actually had the authority to do what He did to clean and safeguard His Father’s house (see John 2:12-16).
I feel it is necessary to remember that we do not believe in a God who is without body, parts, and passions; and, we as His children have inherited those good qualities. Now it is up to us to learn how to bridle them as He has done.
So back to the woman’s question. The time for change is not in the heat of the moment. The time for change is in our quiet, reflective moments. When we pray, we need to ask for help. When we ponder, we need to write down our impressions. When we are honest with ourselves, we need to acknowledge that sometimes our actions are not appropriate, and that our children’s actions do not justify childish reactions. Then we need to make a plan. We can pattern play, acting out scenarios and responses.
We can and should involve the children. We need to make explicit those things which we consider rules in our home. Even if the implications are there, children need the solidarity of set rules. When we involve them in establishing rules concerning the government of our attitudes and actions, and when we let them determine fair and reasonable consequences for both behavior and misbehavior, we are actually giving them a sense of security in our homes. If we develop a standard of trying to adhere to these rules ourselves, they will feel secure. And so will we.
The thing to remember is that our responses are conditioned responses, which means that they have been practiced for many years. So in order to change the undesired outcome, we need to recondition ourselves; we need to change the condition of our response. And if that doesn’t take planning and effort, I don’t know what does. But if we desire a better response and a more loving outcome; if we desire our children to learn better patterns, too; then, it is worth the effort.
As we plan for changes and recondition our responses, we will notice that the outcomes will also change. We learn in Human Behavior classes, that if we keep doing the same song and dance, we will keep getting the same results; but, if one person changes his or her steps, that cycle will be disrupted and the dance will begin to change.
Suggested scriptures to ponder:
King Benjamin taught all of His people the gospel, and they were all converted. How can studying the gospel and strengthening our own conversion, help us have a change of heart? How can it help us improve our family relationships.
Mosiah 5:1-2
Sometimes it is necessary to disciple our children quickly, sharply, and firmly. But we should be in control and our actions should be motivated by love; and, we need to afterwards take the time to reaffirm our love for our children.
Doctrine and Covenants 141:40-46
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Dealing with Loss
What can I do to develop a relationship with my Heavenly Father?
Heavenly Father is literally our Father. He loves us. He loves us so much that He provided this Earth as a place for our schooling, and He provided His Son to be both our Master and our Redeemer. He is a Perfect Parent and He desires for all of us to progress and be happy.
Following are a few scriptures that will be directive in helping us understand what to do in order to know our Heavenly Father. There are many important scriptures that can help us know who He is and how much He loves us and desires our happiness. As we come to know Him, we will understand that our happiness is linked to developing trust in Him and becoming like Him. Don’t quit your search with these few scriptures. You can recall other ones and search for more. Go to LDS.org and search for key words that you find in your scripture search. Also, visit lds.org/media-library to watch a video on the topic.
Here is a video that I watched:
The Only True God and Jesus Christ Whom He Has Sent
There are many more. But don’t stop there; pray for answers. God will listen to your prayers and help you find answers to your questions.
John 14:6-9:
6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
7 If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.
8 Philip saith unto him, Lord, shew us the Father, and it sufficeth us.
9 Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Shew us the Father?
1 John 4:7:
7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
Alma 30: 44:
44 But Alma said unto him: Thou hast had signs enough; will ye tempt your God? Will ye say, Show unto me a sign, when ye have the testimony of all these thy brethren, and also all the holy prophets? The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.
Doctrine and Covenants 132:22-24:
22 For strait is the gate, and narrow the way that leadeth unto the exaltation and continuation of the lives, and few there be that find it, because ye receive me not in the world neither do ye know me.
23 But if ye receive me in the world, then shall ye know me, and shall receive your exaltation; that where I am ye shall be also.
24 This is eternal lives—to know the only wise and true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he hath sent. I am he. Receive ye, therefore, my law.
These are a few suggested scriptures in this month’s New Era, but there are so many more. Which are some of your favorites? How have they blessed you to come to feel the love that God has for you? How have they blessed you in developing a relationship with your Father and coming to know Him and His Son? How does knowing that God is our Heavenly Father enrich our lives? What does the knowledge cause you to do?
(Source: New Era: Learning of Heavenly Father: A Study of Epic Proportions)
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“How are Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ the same but different?”
We have been told to worship the true and living God, and some people believe that the Father and the Son are just one personage of spirit. But this isn’t true. They are two separate identities who are one in unity, purpose, and likeness. How can we come to recognize Heavenly Father as the Father of our spirits and Jesus Christ as our Savior?
These few scriptures provide a good beginning point in strengthening our understanding. There are so many more. You can open the links to these verses and find tools for cross-referencing them with other scriptures. Plus, you can use great tools such as The Bible Dictionary, True to the Faith, and Preach My Gospel. But don’t stop there; pray for answers. God will listen to your prayers and help you find answers to your questions.
John 3:16,35:
16 ¶For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
35 The Father loveth the Son, and hath given all things into his hand.
John 17:20-23:
20 Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.
22 And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
Mormon 7:5-7:
5 Know ye that ye must come to the knowledge of your fathers, and repent of all your sins and iniquities, and believe in Jesus Christ, that he is the Son of God, and that he was slain by the Jews, and by the power of the Father he hath risen again, whereby he hath gained the victory over the grave; and also in him is the sting of death swallowed up.
6 And he bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead, whereby man must be raised to stand before his judgment-seat.
7 And he hath brought to pass the redemption of the world, whereby he that is found guiltless before him at the judgment day hath it given unto him to dwell in the presence of God in his kingdom, to sing ceaseless praises with the choirs above, unto the Father, and unto the Son, and unto the Holy Ghost, which are one God, in a state of happiness which hath no end.
These are a few suggested scriptures in this month’s New Era, but there are so many more. Which are some of your favorites? How have the blessed you to have a greater understanding of our Heavenly Father and of His Son Jesus Christ? How can developing an understanding of both of Them help to enrich our lives? How can you share the truths that you learn with your own family? How can you share them with your friends and associates?
(Source: New Era: Learning of Heavenly Father: A Study of Epic Proportions)
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