Straining at a Gnat and Not Swallowing a Camel

The Power of Writing Things Down

I'm so thankful for the ability to write things down to express emotion. I just read over some very old unsent letters, and I decided to skip reading most of them. I’m glad that writing can help us work through things, gain perspective, and develop patience. While we all sense a desire to express ourselves, I'm so glad that I've left many things unsaid.

 Straining at a Gnat and Not Swallowing a Camel

Strained Communication

Often misunderstandings come from an inability to communicate our hurts appropriately. While there may be ample reason for us to feel the way we do, we cannot necessarily see into the other persons’ minds or hearts to know their intents or perspective. When there isn’t enough trust established to proceed with communication, sometimes we just need to pray for each other and hope for the best. 

Prayer is the Important Key

Prayer. Isn’t that the key to good communication? Here, with our Heavenly Father, we can always develop a relationship where we know we can be understood, we will be validated, and reproof will always be given with ample love. When we feel the Savior’s love, we will be able to love ourselves more, no matter what others may think, do, or say; and, we will be able to extend His love to others more freely, until we can develop that love in ourselves. 

We Need to Repent Ourselves

Prayer will also help us so our own part in the dissonance and what we are lacking ourselves. We will see our own need to change and find mercy, which should in turn help us to feel more merciful. We can seek inspiration on how to proceed: how to serve, how to wait, or how to let go. 

Serving and Forgiving

When there are opportunities to build more trust through service and shared experiences, we should seek to take advantage in developing more stable relationships. If we fall and skin our knees, we should try again. But even when things are rocky, we shouldn’t be throwing rocks.

For the times when I have spoken hastily or sought for vindication, I’m thankful for the ability to repent and repair. Sometimes feelings are raw for a long time, and even when people may want us to eat our words, or when they regurgitate them, we really cannot take them back. But we can choose to give second, third, and seventy-seventh chances, trying to give each other the benefit of the doubt.

How has writing been therapeutic to you in putting things to rest? 

How have your benefited from repairing strained relationships?

The Benefit of the Doubt

I believe that it is important to learn to give the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes we are so quick to judge others, even those closest to us, as a means to elevate ourselves by thinking belittling thoughts about them. How can such destructive behavior ever amount to anything constructive? It can't.

It is so much more profitable to show patience, not only in others (and what they do and say), but in our reacting to them. Pausing, to give ourselves processing time is a wise choice. We do not need to allow first impressions of anyone or any event mar our overall ability to perceive clearly. Often if we seek clarification, we are pleasantly surprised that we are all nearly on the same page after all. And it's important to not hastily spread any early doubts to another's detriment or even to our own.

Communication takes effort, but it is well worth it, in avoiding misunderstandings and judgments that leave hurts and scars that can take days or even years to heal. Pride has a way of making us hold unto our hurts in justification of our own rightness and in seeking to prove how much we have been wronged. And often this destructive cycle begins with a small infraction, a miscommunication, or a breach in understanding. Instead of being quick to take offense, we should extend to each other the benefit of the doubt.

How has giving others the benefit of the doubt changed your perspective or blessed your life? How has doing so preserved a friendship?

How has someone extending to you the benefit of the doubt affected you?