Live with Gratitude: Both Giving and Taking

Live with Gratitude: Both Giving and Taking

Sometimes you can dish it out, but you just can't take it.

How are you at receiving compliments, at accepting praise? Does it cause you undo discomfort when the spotlight is turned to you? Do you soak it in with gratitude? Do you absorb it with pride? Or do you dismiss it in dismay?

Since I am one that is easily overwhelmed, positive attention is sometimes unwelcome, even though it might be very needed. I think that is true for many of us. We want recognition; but, at the same time, we don't want a fuss, nor do we want to feel overwhelmed by compliments that we feel we do not deserve.

Then there is the question of pride in the face of our religious beliefs or core values. If we accept praise, do we equate that with ownership for the good that we have done or the good that unfolds as a result of our actions? Do we question the motives behind the compliment, judging that the giver is insincere or looking for something in return? Do we acknowledge a compliment, understanding that we have been placed in a position to do something good, knowing that we are a small vehicle within a much greater movement of good?

I think that we need to understand that both giving praise and accepting praise are healthy actions and attitudes. Offering praise helps us develop hearts of gratitude, and that's always important. The first part of offering praise, for me, is acknowledging God's hand in all things. All our blessings, relationships, talents, and goodness spring from our Father who gave us life.

Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav'nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Word: Thomas Ken; Music: Louis

Here is a scripture that came to mind in relationship to giving, which certainly can be applied to giving compliments and praise:

“Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of neccesity: for God loveth a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).

I believe that we are encouraged to offer sincere praise, both to God and to our fellowmen. If God loves a cheerful giver, certainly He also loves a cheerful receiver.

Sometimes great people doing great things do not want recognition. But at some point, maybe even their humility might appear to be prideful. We are not all capable of doing the same things. The Lord gives us talents severally according to his will (See Gifts of the Spirit). Gifts are given at His discretion for the benefit of the Giver and the recipient. The recipient of God's gifts can then become a giver himself; in turn, the good that we do becomes a blessing to ourselves and to others. In our humility, we might not think that we are anything great or that the things that we do are noteworthy. Be we, as messengers of God, are involved in His goodness; and, when others are witnesses, it may be careless for us to consider their praise as folly and deny the greatness of the actions performed.

Selfless service, in today's world, is out of the norm. But for those who truly love God and neighbor, it is the ideal that we both seek and cherish. While I can understand someone being tired of receiving attention for the good that he does, we all must realize how wonderful it is to be a witness of selfless service. Since we have all been given different blessing and different capacities, the Spirit can guide us all in how we can serve and what our current missions are, if we are willing to ask our Father and listen for His voice.

There are so many opportunities for all of us to be Christ-like. When someone admires our Christ-like actions, maybe we need to step back and look at our own situation through an outsider's eyes. We might also be in awe; not of ourselves, but of what has been accomplished through the grace of God and the gifts He has given us. When we do so, we will be able to accept sincere compliments without arrogance, but joyfully. We will know that the glory goes to God who has given us the will and the moment-by-moment strength to keep going, even when we feel exhausted and inadequate.

When we can both separate ourselves from the glory and involve ourselves in the gratitude, we are in a good position to be a cheerful receiver. Sometimes this might be hard to do, because we are receiving praise when we are intimately aware of our own inadequacies and failures. Maybe we need more support from friends and family to help ease our burdens, and so the compliments we receive just come across as trite phrases. Maybe we resent the compliment because we desire the gift of time and service to help buoy us up in a current challenge. Maybe we even feel that we are a victim, doing much work that we believe others should also be doing. Sometimes, when we do not see our own growth and goodness, we find it difficult to accept what someone else is telling us, because we currently cannot see it. Then we need to develop some trust in the person who is offering praise, trust to accept the compliments with gratitude and trust to ask for help we may need. We really might not want praise because facing our own fears and inadequacies leaves us feeling exposed.

I am certainly glad that praise is part of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that even Jesus asked, "Why callest thou me good? None is good, save one, that is, God" (Luke 18:19).

Not only was Jesus announcing His Messiahship, saying that since He is good, He is the Son of God; in this instance, as always, Jesus, as the King of Creation, deferred the glory to His Father. And yet, can you imagine how crumpled we would be if we didn't feel to praise Him and to offer Him our undying gratitude daily, minute-by-minute for His everlasting sacrifice for us?

I think we can all comprehend the importance of being amazed with God and His Son and in offering praise to Them. I think that we all can understand the importance of expressing gratitude to others, and we can acknowledge that there are times that we are in awe of the work that is being done. But can we understand and accept that it is also not just okay but appropriate to accept the praise of others? Instead of being less amazed, I think we should all be more amazed, not only with God, but with what we can and do accomplish as His children. 

With open eyes and hearts, it would be wonderful if we could all give and accept positive words of encouragement and praise. We should really all be more amazed with each other, all the time. We all have tasks that are not easy and challenges that are invisible to others. So it becomes us to accept words of encouragement and praise more graciously, letting those words boost us in the seemingly endless, thankless tasks that we all must perform on a daily basis. We need to become more like little children, who are humble and sincere. In them we witness perfect praise (See Matthew 21:16).

Let us all practice both giving and receiving praise sincerely and graciously. We can learn to accept words of encouragement for what they are, returning the glory to God, and helping others learn to do the same. He has called us to perform special missions. And He is amazing. The work which we do in His name and through His love is also amazing. His grace and His glory and His goodness endures forever! Even when we might feel weary of compliments, I believe that sincere praise from others is only a mere reflection of the love and gratitude they feel for the goodness and glory of God, in which they cannot yet recognize or find full expression. So we can feel gratitude for the goodness that others see in us, and in that goodness, find hope that we are helping others to see God's grace and seek His face.

Life is a wonderful blessing. Praise is a wonderful gift. We are involved in a marvelous work and a wonder! Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Does Santa Fit into Your Christmas?

Does Santa Fit into Your Christmas?  http://goo.gl/5oD6bZ

Santa Claus has become a controversial subject in the scheme of Christmas giving. Some have entirely abolished him from their families’ traditions, which is their right. The main emphasis for Christmas has always been and should always be that the prophets’ words were recognized and fulfilled: Jesus Christ came into the world to save the world from death and sin. Many explanations have been invented to explain how Santa fits into the Christmas Story; and, in many way, he really does not. We should keep our focus on the Savior, the humble birth of the Son of God, and the richness of His story of giving and forgiving; the King of all becoming the servant of all, to show all the road back to His Kingdom.

The main thing to note is that every family is free to create its own traditions. When a son leaves his family and a daughter leaves her family, and the two of them create a new family, they then need to decide what is the proper path for them to take; this applies to all holidays and all parenting choices. There will be a blending of traditions and the creation of new traditions. It’s a beautiful thing, because a new family is created and they set the environment for love and growth, for understanding and discipline. They have the opportunity to set the stage and the rules for their own holidays. In doing so, they can create an environment that is conducive to true discipleship of Jesus Christ and the Spirit of reaching out to others in gift giving and charity, or they can create an environment that perpetuates self-centeredness.

We have done the Santa thing in my family of origin and in the family I created with my husband; but, we never carried it into a perpetual lie. I remember asking my mom, "Santa isn't real, is he?" when I was in Kindergarten or something. She told me that he is just a fun story. (She really had been saying that all along.) We all knew it was just a fun make-believe story. Some parents go overboard to prove he's real; I think that's wrong. Our emphasis should be on teaching that Jesus Christ is real; that the gospel--the good news of Heavenly Father's gift for us is real. In doing so, we emphasize the importance of Jesus Christ in our lives. Christmas has always had its center in Jesus Christ for me.

That being said, I think that the biggest mistake in having all the presents delivered by Santa is that children do not learn to give thanks to those who are actually making sacrifices to give them the presents. They should have the opportunity to thank their parents and family members and to always return thanks to God, who really is the One who gives us everything. We always just had our children's stockings and one or two gifts from Santa. If they woke up earlier, on Christmas day, than the rest of the family, that was all they were allowed to open. Mainly our Christmas giving was from members of the family to each other, and we took turns opening one gift at a time, from the youngest to the oldest. All of our children realized Santa was make-believe because we taught them that was so, but it still was fun to set things out on Christmas Eve and wake up to presents under the tree. It was fun to have older children help set things up for younger ones, too. And it was still fun to set out a plate of cookies for Santa.

(One more thing that was important in our family. We did not ever want to bring commercialism into the Sabbath day, so if Christmas happened to fall on Sunday, the Santa presents arrived a day early. We also did not like to have Easter bunny baskets on Sunday. That was just something we decided would work best for our own family.)

So I don't think Santa is entirely wrong. But I do think that he should be taught to just be a fun story from the very beginning. I think that he should be taught to be one representation of the spirit of giving. One year our family had an especially fun time playing Sub for Santa and delivering surprises to a more needy family than our own for the 12 days leading up to Christmas. That truly brought the Spirit of Christmas into our hearts more than ever. Children need to learn the magic of giving and find joy and glory in that. We shouldn’t allow the Santa that our family perpetuates to teach our children to carry an attitude of indulgence and entitlement which merely focuses on the getting.

If we want to teach our children to have a truly joyous Christmas, we should help them focus on what they can give to one another and to what they can give to others—and these gifts need not, and indeed should not always be, things that can be bought with money. If we focus on the gifts from our Heavenly Father in the Gift of His Son; and if we focus on the many gifts that Jesus has given us as we read about and study His life, we will find that the best gifts that we receive are not monetary, but they are gifts of the heart. Children are great at giving gifts of the heart, and we need to recognize when they give those gifts and encourage them to keep giving gifts of purity.

Giving too much time to the question of yea or nay to Santa also draws attention away from the Savior. So, for me, Christmastime doesn’t really present the question of whether or not to abolish Santa Claus entirely from our family traditions; for me, the questions are, “How can I show my thanks to Heavenly Father for the priceless and endless gift of His Son? How can I live my life to show my appreciation? How can I transform my attitude and my daily life so as to make my life a gift to Them, and so as to be a better example to my children and to others? How can I serve others in meaningful ways to help them feel the Savior’s love in their lives? What is the most important thing that I can do this season to give a gift to Jesus Christ, my Savior? In asking these types of questions, I believe that we can turn our focus to the Savior and have a Christ-centered Christmas that extends beyond our family and that can fill our hearts with the peace of the Savior throughout the New Year.

Merry Christmas to all! (...and to all a good night)!